Tell her she can't have a vagina
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
