He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
