Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
