During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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