Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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