Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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