end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize