i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
