I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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