12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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