I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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