Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize