idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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