In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
