so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
