her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
