Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
