why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize