Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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