Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
