When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
