and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
