Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
