I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
