She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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