evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize