She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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