fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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