She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
