i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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