smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
