i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
