I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize