Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
