Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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