Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
only if we run a train.
done.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
