I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
