check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
