no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
