its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
