At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
