I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
