We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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