yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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