I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I did not marry a roomba.
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