I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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