when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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