i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
