I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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