Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
