she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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