did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Randomize
