so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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