sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
