I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize