You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
