There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
